baby # 3: past due

April 23, came and went... 

For some reason I thought this baby would be a bit early. Not sure why, but since I was expecting a little early, I feel like I've been waiting to have him foreverrrrr. Grayson was 10 days late, Bowen was born on his due date, so I thought this one would be a little before the due date. I was wrong. 

The good news is, I feel like I've been able to check everything off of my "to do before baby" list... and he should be a good sized, fully grown little boy :) 

Physically, I've felt great. Sleeping good and feeling comfortable. I'm so thankful. Mentally, I feel tired of the "is everything in order?", "is the fridge stocked if it's tonight?", "who will get here to take care of the boys depending on when it is" questions that constantly float through my mind. 

Really, most of my pregnancy "symptoms" are the same as I shared in the last post, except I would add that I've really enjoyed lemonade-type drinks and OJ in the morning (again). And that if it's over like 75 degrees, I feel SO hot. 

Bowen still calls the baby "pad thai"...

It is fun when random people ask when we are out "when are you due?" and I answer "today" or "yesterday". I always love their response. 

The chances of him coming each day are getting greater and greater. He has to come out eventually, right? 

Come on baby boy!

baby # 3: 36+ weeks

Here's a whole bunch of pregnancy randomness...

I've felt really great, like can not complain at all. But I wouldn't mind if this baby came a week early or so. Grayson was 10 days late, Bowen on his due date... so maybe this baby will be a little early? 

Chad went to India when I was 34 weeks and came home when I was 36 weeks... thankfully we didn't have an early baby. I took the infant carseat with me to Durham, justtttt in case. 

If I don't eat eggs in the morning, I'm hungry by 10:30- but if I have them for breakfast, I'm much better all day {picture 1}

I'm on about a 3-4 day rotation of clothes and look forward to wearing some different things after the baby comes, though I think I'll miss being pregnant {picture 2}

Bowen is convinced this baby is going to be named "pad thai", no idea why he thinks that... my dad even gave us a monogrammed outfit that says "pad thai" {picture 3}

Nesting kicked in around 33 weeks and I got lots of stuff cleaned out, organized and pulled out. I'm always thankful when that kicks in!

I really think the boys are excited about the new baby. Bowen has no idea what's about to happen, but I think G will be a great help and great big brother x 2. I hope I can remember these days with just the two of them... they're so sweet! Can't wait to add another boy!

I sleep great at night. I usually get up to use the bathroom once right now, but go right back to sleep. I probably sleep from about 10:30-6:30 on average. I have a feeling those newborn middle of the night feedings will be rough.  

Probably my biggest fear about delivery is the logistics of Grayson and Bowen's care. We have a list of people who we will call who will take care of them, but not being able to know when and plan it is hard for me. I also fear giving birth in the car on the way to the hospital, for real... it's an hour drive and Bowen's labor progressed fast.

Bowen will miss his seat/doing his "trick"... no hands!

 Naming babies is not something Chad and I are good at... we've yet to decide on a name for this little boy (Pad Thai Ferrell is sounding better and better)

at 36 weeks... 

baby # 3: 20 weeks

We are thankful to be at the halfway point with our third baby boy!

I've really had very easy pregnancies. But compared to my first 2 boys, this one has been even easier. I've only thrown up about twice (never nauseous, just random get sick) and I haven't been anymore tired than the usual chasing-around-two-little-ones tired. Most days, I forget I'm pregnant. 

I went to the dr twice early on just to get the heartbeat checked.  They graciously checked the heartbeat because I was skeptical/paranoid/doubting being pregnant or wondering if I had miscarried again... especially because I just didn't feel pregnant. 

I dealt with fear and worry for about the first 6 weeks after finding out we were pregnant. It's hard to wonder everyday if you're going to start bleeding. I'm really thankful for people praying for me and encouraging me in this area during this time!

I was tired weeks 8 and 9- but since those weeks, I haven't even napped!

I started showing early. By 10 weeks people were asking Chad if I was pregnant.

at 20 weeks with all 3...

Once again, salty over sweet... all the way.

The biggest pregnancy symptom I've had (same with both boys) is that early on, from about 6 weeks on, I've had to eat every 2 hours or so because of blood sugar levels. Hunger hits FAST and if I don't have a snack quickly I get light headed, sweaty and very faint. This got better around maybe 15 weeks.

I wouldn't say I've had cravings (well, maybe except crispy bacon) but in the early weeks, I would get something to eat in my head and could not stop focusing on it until I ate it. This only happened for maybe 4 weeks. I would start thinking about a CFA spicy chicken sandwich and need to go get a spicy chicken sandwich or a plate of pad thai- and need to go get pad thai. And then I was good to go and would be good until the next food popped into my mind.

We didn't tell Grayson and Bowen until I was about 15 weeks pregnant. G had asked twice "Mommy, is there a baby in your belly, because there is a little bump there?" Nothing gets by him. I was able to distract and not answer those times. He immediately began voicing his requests for a sister once we told him. I've told him many times that "it doesn't work that way..."

If it's after about 9:00pm and I'm sitting down and start to get tired, I get twitchy- weird pregnancy symptom? 

Everyone of course asks if I had any feelings boy or girl... and I really had none. I told them I thought I'd be really surprised either way.... surprised to be a mom to 3 boys, and surprised to hear we were going to have a daughter. 

I felt both of the boys for the first time around 20 weeks. But I felt this baby around 17 weeks.

We had our big anatomy appointment at 19.5 weeks and found out it is another BOY! I think I'm still trying to process having three boys! We are so thankful for this little boy and can't wait to meet him! Now to start the naming game...

#3...

Bowen...

 Grayson...

loss

{It still seems a little surreal that this is now a chapter in our story.} 

We were thrilled to find out in March (on my 30th birthday!) that we were expecting baby # 3. Of course, we instantly started processing and dreaming of what life would be like come October. Three little ones!

Between 10-11 weeks into my uneventful pregnancy, I started bleeding and after 2 days on bed rest, on a Sunday evening, the bleeding intensified and we scrambled to get to the ER. While at the ER I "actively miscarried" our third little one.

After an evening in the ER with ultrasounds, doctors, fluids (for a lot of blood loss in a little amount of time,) we walked out around midnight with a "good and healthy" report, but trying to process the turn of events and the loss of the baby we would no longer raise.

Liz passed along this (Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life when Death Visits the Womb) book the next day, and y'all it is so good and has been so encouraging. I would recommend it if you've experienced miscarriage, or if you haven't.

We've been learning and processing a lot over the past month. Tears have been shed, perspectives change, the Lord is faithful.  This makes us look forward to a day where death is no more! Here are a couple quotes from the book that encouraged me... 

 "Death experienced within the womb is a direct result of sin. While Christ's death on the cross has paid the penalty for our sin once and for all, we still eagerly await the day when our Savior will return and do away with the horrible consequences of sin forever... Oh, how we long for his return! In that day our suffering will be eclipsed by the glories of eternal life in Christ Jesus, and our physical bodies will no longer be subjected to decay and brokenness." p. 24

"This is a good gift from God. It allows us to gain perspective on this life. Our lives on this Earth are a mist, appearing and then all too quickly vanishing. The good and joyful gifts of grace that we partake of in this fleeting life, as well as the trials and sorrows we encounter, will be instantly overshadowed by the coming joy that awaits us for all of eternity... Painful trials like miscarriage are a means by which God can effectively direct our gaze toward our eternal future with Him." p. 81

It has surprised me how many women have said "I've experienced miscarriage too". It makes me sad that this seems to be a group of women who often grieve and process alone. 

Community is so beautiful. Even though this issue is one of such a personal nature (maybe why people shy away from sharing their loss?), We've been so blessed by our friends, family and church walking it with us and reaching out to encourage us. We've had friends love us so well. Praying for us, asking how we are doing, texting us to check in... oh what a blessing!

As we've processed through emotions, the overwhelming emotion is thankfulness. How amazing that we can trust in the Lord's good providence in the midst of sadness!? The Lord has been so gracious to allow a peace that can only come from Him. His presence has been very real.

So much to be thankful for!

-Less than 24 hours before, Chad was in India and I was road tripping by myself with the boys back to Clemson.

-A husband who took over and served me and our boys, as I had to be lying down. It is hard with little ones not to get up and help do stuff.

-Friends who show up in minutes (having no idea what is going on) to take care of our boys so we can rush to the hospital.

-A peace, while sitting on blood soaked towels in the ER, that can only come from Him.

-Not having to have a D&C and my body healing quickly.

-Women at church who stop me in passing and say "I heard what happened. I'm sorry. I've been there too."

-2 healthy little boys that keep me busy, laughing, and my arms full. 

Isn't it funny how a song will randomly pop in your head? Well, this old Mercy Me song for some reason has been on repeat in my head (and apparently out loud too... I heard Grayson singing the lyrics I seem to be repeating). I really love the words to it. 

bring me joy, bring me peace, 

bring the chance to be free

bring me anything that brings you glory

and I know there'll be days, 

when this life brings me pain, 

but if that's what it takes to praise you, 

Jesus, bring the rain.

Praise Him that we can grieve with hope. That our loss can be for HIS glory. Come, Lord Jesus!

#2: 40 weeks... hello due date!

Update: A lot can change in one or two days :) I wrote and scheduled this post on Monday evening, and here I now sit in the hospital looking at a sweet, new baby. After contractions all day Tuesday, Bowen arrived early Wednesday morning... on his due date. 

Hello January 14!

It would seem my babies like to stay put the full allotted time... and then some. I'm not complaining. 

I've felt really good and slept good. I'm very thankful. 

Being pregnant with an active toddler is a whole different ball game than being pregnant with your first. I can tell my body is way more tired at the end of the day from picking up/carrying a 30 pound toddler, bending over lots to pick up toys and such, playing in the floor, and so on... 

I like a big glass of orange juice first thing every morning. This is really only the pregnancy related food thing I think I have. 

When I went to my 39 week appointment last week they were concerned I was measuring behind track and so they did an ultrasound and everything looked fine. They said it must have been the way he was positioned. They also said I was 3 cm dilated and that I must've been having some contractions, though I hadn't noticed them.  I got to see a little bit of the baby, but he was hiding behind his hands most of the time.

I've gained right around 25 pounds this pregnancy. I don't feel like my belly has gotten larger in the past few weeks, but my larger/pregnancy t-shirts barely come down over my belly these days. 

I went a few weeks (maybe weeks 36-38) where I had to get up to use the bathroom like 5 times each night.

I'm thankful that nesting seemed to kick in somewhere along the way in the past couple of months and we knocked out lots of house/get ready for baby projects. It was nice for that motivation to appear and I'm so thankful to have stuff clean and organized. 

I've had the pregnancy stuffiness/sniffles (or "rhinitis of pregnancy"... yeah, it has a name) for about the past month. The stuffiness usually starts around 9pm and then I wake up and it's gone. Pregnancy has weird side effects. 

I pretty much maintained napping (or at least lying down) while Grayson napped throughout the whole pregnancy. 

 and a few others from 40 weeks... 

We've had a sweet few days/ outings as a family of 3 the past few days and I keep thinking will this be the last time it's just the 3 of us?! It's such a strange thing waiting for a baby, knowing life could change any day. Come on baby brother!

# 2: 30 weeks

I'm thrilled to be in the third trimester! I've been feeling really good and am so, so thankful. 

After another detailed checkup this past week and everything looking normal and on track, I'm now on the routine doctor appt schedule and no longer am being monitored or considered risky. Praise Jesus!

 I still like to nap daily and probably nap 4-5 times a week :) 

We really need nothing to prepare for this baby (except diapers) and that is awesome!

I have a "to do before baby" list going and I'm hoping to knock a lot of it out in the next 2 weeks. 

Random fact: at this point in G's pregnancy, we still didn't know if he was a boy or girl. 

I've started to get a little nervous thinking about labor and delivery. I'm really trying to go straight to petitioning the Lord for peace and a healthy, smooth, (quick!) delivery when I catch myself anticipating it. 

They estimated the baby to weigh a little over 3 pounds at my appt last week. They said that was the 59%.

Can't wait to meet this little guy in the next 10 weeks or so!

# 2: 20 weeks...halfway!

It's crazy that we are already to the halfway point. The first few weeks after we found out seemed to pass really slow, but I've had trouble keeping track since then! The other day I told someone I was 17 weeks pregnant and I was actually 19... oops! 

I've really felt good. I can't complain at all. 

I have to eat every 2 hours or so. Hunger hits FAST and I always have to have a snack with me. 

I always want salty over sweet (and I'm such a sweets girl!). I also have had the same coffee aversion I had with G. I've missed drinking coffee, it just doesn't appeal to me at all. 

Every now and then (maybe once a week or once every other week) I get sick... never nauseous, I just get sick and then I'm over it. I'll take that over nausea any day. This is the same as when I was pregnant with Grayson. 

I've definitely been tired/ had less energy. I still try to nap when G does any day I can. And I'm usually ready for bed by 9. I'm sure it's a mix of being pregnant, moving/trying to get settled and work on house projects, chasing around a busy toddler...

My guess was boy only because this pregnancy has been very similar to Grayson's. But I was convinced G was a girl, so I feel like it was still a surprise to hear her say boy! We are so excited to have two little boys close in age!

Until the way home from finding out it was a boy we had yet to have any name conversations. So much other stuff going on it just wasn't ever a topic of conversation. Now that we know it's a boy, we'll have to start giving it some thought...

I felt the baby move (for sure) right around 19 weeks. There were a few times I thought I might have felt him before that. Chad's been able to feel him too. So neat, it never gets old. 

I feel so big right now. After about week 15 my belly just seemed to pop. I was surprised when I pulled up my 20 week picture with G, that it really doesn't look that different. I seriously thought this baby would look huge compared to 20 weeks with him. I've definitely already broken out the maternity bottoms. Way sooner than I started wearing them with Grayson. 

 Really this pregnancy has been so much like Grayson's! Except for the fact that I can't be as mellow/relaxed as I was with him. Toddlers don't really understand "Mommy just wants to sit down and rest for a few minutes". 

Watching/feeling the baby move all around and seeing intricate details (like his spine) on the ultrasound machine always reminds me what an amazing miracle this is. How great is our God! Thankful that He knows and created this baby and chose/blessed us to shepherd and parent him. We can't wait to meet him in a few months. Children are a great blessing!

number two

Baby Ferrell #2 is on the way!

We are absolutely thrilled and so thankful for the blessing of a second child. Please pray with us for a healthy pregnancy and baby come January! 

(does this look slightly familiar? remember our first pregnancy announcement?) 

40 weeks: due date!

well hello due date. It is crazy that November 7 is here!

-Still feeling good and sleeping good.

-It's been nice to be able to just enjoy these last few days of just Chad and I and not be uncomfortable or miserable feeling.

-Had a doctors appointment yesterday and they said everything looks good and that it is just a waiting game now. 

-It is just crazy to think each day "today could be the day!" One of these days it's finally going to happen!

So, so thankful for a smooth and easy pregnancy! Come on Grayson, we are ready to meet you!

37 weeks: full term!

It's really hard to believe we are already to this point! Full term as of yesterday!

-I'm still feeling awesome. Probably better than I was a month ago... the little rib and back pain I had has left. You would think I should be getting more uncomfortable, right?

-We started the weekly doctor appointments and I really like the doctors office we go to. (I say "we" because Chad has gone to every single baby appt I have had, all the ones in India and here. He's awesome and will be a great dad.)

-Still sleeping really good. 

-We feel much more prepared and ready for this baby after the past few weeks. We had a couple awesome showers and got most everything we need. Pictures of what we refer to as the "baby nook" coming soon. 

-I never really feel like I had cravings... but I am really enjoying a big glass of orange juice in the morning and really cold ice water during the day. These aren't normal for me. I rarely drank juice in the morning and usually don't even put ice in my water (I know, that's kinda weird). 

33 weeks

33 weeks down, about 7 to go!

-Still feeling good! By the end of the day I usually have some sort of mild rib or back pain, but it's really not that bad. 

-I'm still sleeping great... I really hope this continues. I'm just not one of those people who can function well with only a couple of hours. 

-At our 32 week appointment, we were (finally!) able to find out that we will have a little BOY! We were pretty surprised because we both still totally thought it was a girl :) But we are thrilled and so excited! Here is a picture of our son (that's crazy to say) from 32 weeks...

-We had pretty much decided on a girl name, but finding out it was a boy put us starting back at the beginning. We're still not sure, but have a list of boy names we're debating. Naming a baby is so intimidating to me... he will live with this the rest of his life!

-We've started collecting some baby stuff in the past 3 weeks. We've been blessed by being passed along some great hand-me-down stuff (love that... baby stuff is pricey!)

30 weeks

30 weeks as of today!

-We are in the third and final trimester... that's crazy.

-All of the traveling and flights went so smooth. thankful! We had two 9 hour flights and I made sure I got up once an hour to walk and stretch. I also chugged water like crazy. 

-I have now added a few more items to my maternity clothes collection. I had several things waiting for me when I got home (thanks Mom!). I had the 2 pairs of jeans Brandy gave me that I've been wearing, but I made it to 30 weeks with my only maternity items being 2 pairs of pants... not bad!

-I have still been feeling great. Sometimes by the end of the day my rib area will get sore. It feels better if I walk or stand. That seems opposite to me. 

-Had a good doctors appointment yesterday for the basics... they said everything looked and was measuring good. 

-Still no boy/girl news. We were hoping to find out yesterday at a doctor appointment I had. But they said we had to schedule an ultrasound appointment. So we wait 2 more weeks! We are just thankful my doctor gave the approval for another unltrasound considering I already had a few in India.

-We are planning to register tomorrow. Excited about that!

Hard to believe that in 10 weeks or so (could be less, right Brooke?!) we will meet this baby!

24 weeks

Some pregnancy updates from the past few weeks:

-I continue to feel so great! Please pray it continues especially over the next 4-5 weeks as we have many flights, train rides and lots of traveling. 

-Baby continues to move around like crazy. I'm not sure the baby is going to know what to think when we aren't bouncing all around the bad roads on the scooter anymore. 

-Definitely looking forward to the upcoming food of Italy and the US. 

Some things I've been thinking about lately: 

crackers (wheat thins, ritz pretzel crisps, triscuits...) 

a big burger (maybe Red Robin?) 

Arby's cheese sticks and curly fries (this is weird, I rarely ate at Arby's)

Chick-fil-a 

cheese (string cheese, cheese cubes...)

yogurt

fried pickles and ranch dressing

I'm sure I would probably want most of these things normally, but maybe being pregnant makes it worse? 

-Brandy shared a few pairs of her maternity pants with me, and so I have officially made the transition. I still wear some of my normal pants, but the maternity ones are way more comfortable. Thanks Brandy! Still wearing all my normal tops.

and this week we are currently in Jaipur with the summerLINK team, so here is the standard 24 weeks shot this morning at the hotel...

 and another 24 week shot while we were exploring the city today...

I've loved being pregnant so far!

oh yeah, and I got asked by an Indian lady on the train yesterday if I was pregnant. First person to ask who didn't know! She was wondering how I dealt with the awful (urine) train station and train smells. ha! God's grace for sure... all the wonderful India smells haven't been any worse during my pregnancy than normal. 

halfway! 20 weeks

The first half of this pregnancy has gone pretty fast and the way our schedule looks over the next few months, I'm pretty sure the second half will fly by as well. 

Some details from the past few weeks:

-I continue to feel awesome. so thankful!

-My nap days are pretty much over (as in I don't feel like I HAVE to take a nap... but sometimes I still do :)

-I felt the baby moving around for the first time during week 19. Chad got to feel it too. Crazy!! About 2 days ago, I could just look down and see my belly moving. So strange and exciting.

-So far I'm still wearing all my normal clothes. Although most of my pants I have to wear with a rubber-band through the belt loop. 

Think I can make it until I get back to the US? About 8.5 more weeks? Then I'm thinking a mother/daughter shopping day is in order :) what do you think, Mom? 

-I had an awesome 19 week appointment when we were in Delhi on the way home from Nepal. Everything looked great with the baby! 

-As I mentioned we weren't able to find out the sex of the baby while we were in Nepal. So now we have about 8 weeks to decide if we want to find out when we get home in August or just wait and be surprised (I mean, we will have already waited 30 weeks). We're still debating...

-Here are some belly shots from the past few weeks

-We really appreciate your prayers for a healthy baby and pregnancy!

16 weeks

It is hard for me to believe I am 16 weeks already. Overall it has flown by and I can't believe it has almost been 4 months, but some days it has seemed slllooowww. I think it is finally starting to sink in that I am pregnant. I've really had a hard time believing it!

Some details:

-I have felt AWESOME. Like super, super amazing. SUCH a blessing and God's grace!

-From weeks 8-14,  I threw up somewhere between 3-6 times per week. Just randomly, usually during or right after a meal. I never felt nauseous or sick, it would just hit me. I would go throw up and then come back and keep eating. No complaints about that.

-We will not be finding out the sex of the baby in India, as it is illegal. This sign is posted at the hospitals...

Sex selection is a big problem here and many families try to abort the fetus if they find out it is a baby girl. We are going on a little visa run to Nepal in about 2 weeks and we may try to find out while we are there. Otherwise we will wait until we get back in August or just be surprised! It's not a huge deal to me if we find out or not... I always thought it would be. 

p.s. Chad and I are both totally convinced it's a girl, but there is absolutely no reasoning behind that. It's just what we think :) 

-I have gotten VERY good at taking afternoon naps. I've definitely lost some energy. I blame this on pregnancy AND the heat.  If I don't get an afternoon nap, you can usually find me in bed by 8:30pm.

-I LOVE coffee and chocolate candy... and we currently have a huge stash of both from the US. Sadly, I have had such an aversion to both. I blame this on pregnancy and the heat too. It's not super appetizing to drink a hot cup of coffee when you have sweat pouring down your face in the morning. Same for candy... I've traded m&m's for apples.

-Don't get me wrong, we eat good here. But you definitely can't just go get whatever you want. I feel like I've been obsessed with food lately and thinking/craving about lots of meals/snacks... a lot of which I can't get.

 I mentioned wanting sloppy joes the other day and Brandy had a sloppy joes seasoning pack and was so sweet and made them for lunch a few days later and invited us for lunch. Of course they were made with ground chicken, but still very yummy! so very sweet, thanks Brandy!

I also mentioned how I'd been wanting Wheat Thins a lot to Mom and she was able to send a box over with the Chasteens. Thankful they were willing to bring some things to us!  yum!

-I have to eat every 2-3 hours or I start to feel nauseous. I make sure I have a snack with me at all times because it hits quick! But the minute I eat something, the nausea goes away. 

-In my city, I have had two ultrasounds... $14 for the whole appointment. Can't beat that! But I have definitely gotten what I pay for, especially at one of the appointments (won't be going back to that hospital!). But at least we got to see the baby!

-For a more reliable appointment, I am going to a doctor in Delhi. Here I am on my way to my first official doctors appointment!

-If you know my Dad at all, this won't surprise you, but he has been brainstorming a cool name for him to be called. He has come up with Zayde (Yiddish for grandfather), Saba (Jewish), Dada (Hindi) and others... all of to which I have said "VETO". I was told last week I don't get a say in choosing. 

-Not much happening with the baby bump yet... but I have a feeling that will change in the next few weeks. I can tell a difference, and Chad sometimes can- but nobody else would really notice. Even with little change, I've still been documenting it weekly :)

I typed that little above paragraph yesterday and then took my 16 week picture today. I think week 15 to week 16 changed a lot. I think you can definitely tell in the picture from today. Maybe it's the dress? 

This is all just such an amazing miracle. I am so filled with joy and in awe of our Creator when I sit and think about how there is life growing inside. How great is our God!