I get asked often how we are doing since the accident. I'm so thankful that for the most part I'm able to smile and say "good". Every now and then when someone here asks "didn't your family come!? how was your time with them?", I'm caught off guard by the rush of emotions when telling what happened and end up with tears streaming down my face.
I am doing good physically. My eye really healed GREAT and you can hardly see the scar from my stitches. The doctor did a great job. My eyelid is a bit puffier, but it is not bad and my vision has improved tons from the scratches on my eye. I have two scars from scrapes I got near my eye, but they fade more and more each day and it has been amazing to look in the mirror each day and just be in awe of how our bodies were created to heal. What an amazing Creator God we serve!
I got my stitches out in Thailand, but apparently not all of them. Two weeks after being back here to India, I started noticing something weird in my scar and got Amy to look at it and she was able to pull two more little stitches out (They had been in for four weeks at that point). Then six weeks after my surgery I noticed another place and sure enough, she pulled another one out! Hopefully that's the last of them. I don't think stitches should be in for six weeks! Where are they coming from!? Thankfully they haven't been that painful for her to pull out and they don't bother me (no infection or anything). Just strange!
Here is a little reenactment of me in the nurses office getting the stitches removed...
I have really been doing better emotionally the past week or two. It has been hard to be away from my parents knowing they are still dealing with physical stuff from the accident, and I'm not there. I know they are in great hands and have people taking care of them and my brothers are being so great, but it's hard that I'M not there. I would love to be able to help clean the house or drive Mom around or lots of other stuff. It is hard for me to be here feeling like I'm back to my normal life and then I talk to Mom and her life is still so different. She still has so much to deal with physically. She has so many appointments each week and it is just hard to be away. I sometimes still can't believe my whole family was HERE, in my city, on the other side of the world and I didn't get to show them my life here.
I've also been dealing with a lot of fears. Some are just so crazy and totally irrational (accidents happening, health issues...) Yet sometimes I just can't get them out of my head! It is terrible and I hate it. Sometimes I feel the carefree way I lived is gone. I'm much more cautious and aware about things. I told Chad the other day that some days I feel like I'm just waiting for something else bad to happen. That is no way to live!! Again, thankfully this has been better this past week and hopefully will get better with time. I have had to really just give this burden to the Lord. I KNOW he has ordained our days and that he is in control. But the enemy preys on these moments and is quick to creep in and I am tempted to worry and fear.
These are several verses I printed from pinterest and taped and placed around our home back in September. They have been so good to have around our home and be constantly reminded of TRUTH. It is amazing to me how they have been just what I need to be reminded of daily over the past couple weeks.
As I was reading recently, I read this part of a Puritan prayer from The Valley of Vision:
"When I am afraid of evils to come, comfort me by showing me
that in myself I am a dying, condemned wretch, but in Christ I am reconciled and live;
that in myself I find insufficiency and no rest, but in Christ there is satisfaction and peace;
that in myself I am feeble and unable to do good, but in Christ I have ability to do all things."
Oh how thankful I am that in my insufficiency, Christ is my strength. I pray that only in Christ would I find my satisfaction and peace! Would you pray with me for this? That when I am tempted to think about "what-ifs" or worry about things beyond my control that I would go straight to the throne of grace.
First of all, THANK YOU for all of the sweet comments, emails, prayers and encouragement from the last post. We are thankful to be healing and have the whole accident behind us.
Here are a couple of things I mentioned that kept us laughing. Gray and Chad picked up these Santa masks one day and wore them when they walked into the hospital room. Scott really enjoyed it and wore one at some funny/strange times that made us all laugh. We would just look over at him and he would randomly have it on.
One of the things we were going to do is take the guys to get shaves. They had all been growing out their facial hair in preparation for it. Instead of taking them to the place Chad usually goes near our apartment, Chad was able to take Scott and Tucker out one day in Delhi while Dad, Mom and I were resting. Scott came back with a very traditional Indian look.
If you remember from this post, I talked about Chad getting his face massage and being slapped around a bit. Scott didn't get as slapped by this guy, but here is a little video Chad took of him getting his post-shave face massage.
This post is SUPER long and there are some not so pleasant pictures. You've been warned!
I'm not even sure where to begin with this whole thing. I've debated whether to post about it or not, but I'm such a verbal processor, it is kind of therapeutic to "talk" about it and type it out. There are also so many details and little things that I'm sure won't be so clear in my mind one day.
Let's start with this... Chad and I had been looking forward to this trip for months (and months). We had planned so many details. I had been a little anxious about all of the traveling and flights but my parents and brothers made it to Delhi with no problems at all (and they came in on 2 different flights). Things were going so well. We had been able to get so much done during our short time in Delhi. We flew back to our city on Saturday evening, and landed around 3:30 pm. Gray picked us up from the airport and we got back to our apartment building and had all the bags in by about 4:30. We had about an hour before we were meeting our team and so my family got a quick tour of my apartment and then went downstairs to Amy's (where they were staying) to unpack a bit and rest for a few minutes before heading out.
Chad and I had debated what to do about travel. We had an extra scooter available and figured it would be fun for us to all travel around by scooters as long as one of the boys could drive it. Dad had driven 2 wheelers before and volunteered to drive first, promising to give the boys a turn if they wanted one over the next couple of days. Chad took him out for a test drive and he felt comfortable so around 5:20 we loaded up the scooters and headed to meet the team. Since Dad was newer to scooter driving, Chad took both of the boys (more of the weight) and Mom and I hopped on behind Dad. We laughed, took some pictures of the boys squeezed on the scooter and were off.
The rest of it happened so fast. We only live about 5 minutes from the Gainors. It's a drive we make often and it's pretty much a straight shot. We were riding fine down the long stretch of road, no problems at all. We were almost to the Gainor's home, we were in the middle of the road, there weren't bumps or anything that made us swerve, we just started veering right. As in, we all knew we were headed straight towards the center median. There is about an 18 inch sharp, concrete curb that runs down the center of the road. Dad never jerked the scooter (which could have been worse), I never yelled "brakes!" we just drove straight into the median, at about 20 mph. Dad says it felt like the scooter was just pulling to the right and he couldn't stop it. It is a blessing that nobody was right behind us because they would have just ran over our bodies because we weren't moving. Like I said, traffic is crazy, it's really a miracle nobody hit us.
Everything went black and I remember just tumbling. I think I blacked out for a few seconds and when I came to I could only open one eye. I was on my face and when I pushed myself up I just saw blood everywhere, and it was running from my face. I was conscience enough to know my parents should be around me and I felt around for them. I finally turned about 180 degrees and saw my Mom lying on her back totally unresponsive, covered in blood with her mouth open and my Dad reaching out to get her and grabbing his bleeding head. Almost immediately the boys reached us. We had been following Chad's scooter and Scott and Tucker had been turning around to make sure we were behind them the whole time. Tucker actually saw the whole thing happen and told Chad and they pulled over and ran straight to us. Tucker sat Mom up, while yelling "stay with me Mom!!" and tied Dad's jacket around her bleeding leg.
Within a minute we were surrounded by Indians (it seemed like hundreds to me) yelling "take them to a hospital", "ambulance is coming". That scared me and I was alert enough to tell Chad to give me his phone and somehow I crawled away from the crowd, found Gray's #, told him there had been an accident and to come quick. Gray and Jesse showed up so fast and immediately jumped into action. Some Indians ended up putting my parents in their car and taking them to the closest hospital. A place I never wanted to have to go.
We spent some time in the ICU just sitting in the wheelchairs. Our whole family was in there. We were never really cleaned up. Dad's hands still had blood stained all over them the next day when we left. They finally put Mom in a bed. One of the scenes that I'm sure I will never forget is my Mom lying in that bed, covered in blood and my two brothers standing at the foot of the bed huddled with their arms around each other crying and praying. There was some yelling from the hospital staff for everyone extra to get out but since I was injured too they let me stay in the ICU and sit next to Mom's bed. They had already taken Dad somewhere to examine his head and ear and seemed like forever that I just sat next to Mom's bed while she moaned and shook (her body in shock?). She just kept repeating "it wasn't supposed to be like this" over and over again. There was a HUGE hole in her leg, all of the "meat" had been rubbed off all the way down to the bone and they kind of just left her like that for awhile. Bloody and dirty. I sat in my wheelchair with an ice pack over 1/2 of my face and just talked to her, trying to keep her from going to sleep. A child should never have to sit over one of their parents covered in blood, knowing the healthcare isn't great... I felt so helpless.
A doctor came and looked at Mom's leg and Dad's head. He decided to go ahead and stitch up Dad's head and ear. They cleaned Mom's leg a tiny bit and after a couple of hours they just put her in a room. That was such a long night. I was never admitted to that hospital. Gray took me and Chad to Amy's and we packed up all of my parents and brothers bags in about 5 minutes. Then we headed up to our apartment and threw some stuff in a suitcase not sure where we were headed or when we would be back. We were hoping to fly out the next day to Delhi for better healthcare.
They took me back to the Gainor's house to spend the night. Brandy helped me clean my face up and listened to me talk things out for a while. We are so thankful for our team!! Gray and Chad ran back and forth to the hospital a couple times. Jesse and my brothers stayed with my parents the whole night. That was the worst night. I just pictured them laying on the beds, so beaten up knowing they needed some serious medical attention and not being able to do anything about it.
Gray worked hard to get us flights out the next day. He ended up being able to book us the early morning flight (so thankful that there were seats available at the last minute), but that meant having to get my parents discharged from the hospital sometime around 3:30 or so. Long story short, they were able to get them discharged (blessing!), loaded in a car and to the airport by about 6:00. How this all happened, I'll never know. Lots of blessings for sure. The 7 of us boarded the flight to Delhi, it went smooth and Gray had a taxi driver friend waiting for us as soon as we arrived in Delhi. Mom, Dad, Gray and I got loaded in that taxi and we drove straight to the hospital where Amy (who my parents weren't supposed to even see on this trip) had prepped the hospital and had them waiting with wheelchairs, beds and doctors as soon as we pulled up. So thankful for Amy and all of her help. She stayed at the hospital for so long, spent the night with Mom on Sunday night, postponed her trip and helped take care of us. With her nursing background, her presence there made me a lot less anxious.
The doctors at Fortis Hospital were great. So great. They were very attentive to us. They ended up admitting Mom and after looking Dad over, they decided he didn't need further medical attention- just to rest and heal. He had already been sewn up and his back pain was going to just take time (it's actually gotten worse, pray it heals!). They took Mom in to the operating room on Sunday to do a procedure to clean the wound on her leg to get rid of all of the "contamination" and decided after that surgery was done that she would have her big surgery probably the next day. They also looked at her face and her doctor decided she would need several plates put in. They wanted me to see an ophthalmologist. I thought I was fine :) I HATE medical stuff. It makes me so squirmy and the thought of shots, stitches, blood just makes me sick. The ophthalmologist finally came, looked at my eye and said I definitely needed stitches and they would need to admit me overnight.
Mom had her big surgery on Monday. They did her face plates and leg at the same time. They had to repair the muscle, tendons, nerves and the doctor ended up having to do a skin graft. After several hard recovery days, she was then released on Wednesday. Gray was able to borrow a car that was available and we were able to bring Mom home in that. The 6 of us plus Gray piled into the SUV. On the way home this song was playing on one of Gray's playlists...
as I listened to the lyrics and sang, tears just filled my eyes. What a whirlwind couple of days it had been, full of so many emotions. Fear, disappointment, gratefulness, relief, sadness... I was just so thankful to be on the way home with all of my family.
"O death, where is your sting? O hell, where is your victory? O church, come stand in the light. The glory of God has defeated the night!"
On Sunday I ended up getting 11 stitches below my left eye, but above my bottom eyelashes. Right in that lid part. A couple days later at a check up, they realized the stitches had been scratching my cornea and were irritating my eye. So on Saturday (one week after the accident) I had another doctor, at an abandoned hospital (that really is its own story) take out all of my first stitches, redo them, and put some more on my top eyelid because there was a scratch that hadn't closed. My vision is really blurry in that eye and they say I have lots of scratches, but that it should heal within 6 weeks. I broke my nose and chipped an eye socket bone, but those should heal on their own. I still have some swelling but should be totally fine. (I lost almost all of my eyelashes on my left eye, but Ashley has been showing the eye doctor she works for pictures I send her and he says they should grow back. minor problem, I know)
How is it that all 3 of us had head injuries and none of them were super serious like a concussion or anything?? Miracle. (Chad and I plan to buy helmets as soon as we get back)
It was a long week of doctor appointments and operations. Not the week we had planned. We are thankful it wasn't worse. We could have died. It was a bad, bad, ugly accident. Considering the accident, it is amazing to me we were all home from the hospital by Wednesday. We couldn't have done it without our team. They came instantly to the accident and did not leave our side. From Jesse spending the first night with my parents and fighting for us in ICU, to Brandy and Shanee sending food to the hospital that night, to Brandy taking care of me and making sure I was comfortable that night, to Amy spending all of her time in Delhi at the hospital.... we are so blessed to have such wonderful people surrounding us. Gray flew with us to Delhi, stayed with us until Wednesday, cancelled all of our other plans, flight, hotels, got us food, helped us get a visa extension (we should of had to been out of the country by Wednesday- but were able to get a 10 day extension) and place to stay in Delhi, drove us around and so much more. Gray- thanks for being such a servant and huge blessing to our family! Thanks to all of you.
We are all hopefully on the road to recovery, Mom has the longest journey and is learning to get around with a walker. She will have to have a lot of physical therapy for her leg. We are so blessed by everyone who has just wrapped their arms around us and taken care of us. Thanks for all of the emails, texts, food given to my parents, prayers and encouragement. We are blessed.
Here are some pictures from the week...
the night of the accident- just laying around waiting/ hoping to get to Delhi
Dad and I waiting for Mom to get out of surgery...
after Mom's surgery on Monday- 2 days after accident
they had brought Chad and I Krispy Kreme doughnuts (and I rocked sunglasses a lot because the light hurt my eyes and it covered my face up).
my brothers outside of Fortis hospital
Gray and the trusty notebook- what a blessing that Dad had all travel/insurance stuff together in that notebook. Gray took control of it and worked so hard!
arriving to one of my appointments (Thursday). Tucker went with me while Chad was trying to get our visa extension.
We ordered Thai food for dinner on Thursday night. Bringing a little Thailand to us!
Mom and I with our doctors. So thankful for these ladies- they were really great!
me with Dr. Lopa Das and Dr. Taneja and Mom
this is what real life looked like...
Mom's wheelchair (her other was my 2 brothers carrying her)
It looked like they had to sew Dad's ear back on. I wonder if it was hanging off?
Mom and her favorite nurse, Amy...
Friday family picture- almost one week after the accident. My parents and brothers were able to fly out that night.
The morning after they left (Christmas Eve), I had eye surgery # 2
They let Chad come in the operating room and he watched the whole thing and took pictures. Only in India!
If you made it through all of that... wow!
1 Corinthians 15: 56-58 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the work of the Lord your labor is not in vain.
