I get asked often how we are doing since the accident. I'm so thankful that for the most part I'm able to smile and say "good". Every now and then when someone here asks "didn't your family come!? how was your time with them?", I'm caught off guard by the rush of emotions when telling what happened and end up with tears streaming down my face.
I am doing good physically. My eye really healed GREAT and you can hardly see the scar from my stitches. The doctor did a great job. My eyelid is a bit puffier, but it is not bad and my vision has improved tons from the scratches on my eye. I have two scars from scrapes I got near my eye, but they fade more and more each day and it has been amazing to look in the mirror each day and just be in awe of how our bodies were created to heal. What an amazing Creator God we serve!
I got my stitches out in Thailand, but apparently not all of them. Two weeks after being back here to India, I started noticing something weird in my scar and got Amy to look at it and she was able to pull two more little stitches out (They had been in for four weeks at that point). Then six weeks after my surgery I noticed another place and sure enough, she pulled another one out! Hopefully that's the last of them. I don't think stitches should be in for six weeks! Where are they coming from!? Thankfully they haven't been that painful for her to pull out and they don't bother me (no infection or anything). Just strange!
Here is a little reenactment of me in the nurses office getting the stitches removed...
I have really been doing better emotionally the past week or two. It has been hard to be away from my parents knowing they are still dealing with physical stuff from the accident, and I'm not there. I know they are in great hands and have people taking care of them and my brothers are being so great, but it's hard that I'M not there. I would love to be able to help clean the house or drive Mom around or lots of other stuff. It is hard for me to be here feeling like I'm back to my normal life and then I talk to Mom and her life is still so different. She still has so much to deal with physically. She has so many appointments each week and it is just hard to be away. I sometimes still can't believe my whole family was HERE, in my city, on the other side of the world and I didn't get to show them my life here.
I've also been dealing with a lot of fears. Some are just so crazy and totally irrational (accidents happening, health issues...) Yet sometimes I just can't get them out of my head! It is terrible and I hate it. Sometimes I feel the carefree way I lived is gone. I'm much more cautious and aware about things. I told Chad the other day that some days I feel like I'm just waiting for something else bad to happen. That is no way to live!! Again, thankfully this has been better this past week and hopefully will get better with time. I have had to really just give this burden to the Lord. I KNOW he has ordained our days and that he is in control. But the enemy preys on these moments and is quick to creep in and I am tempted to worry and fear.
These are several verses I printed from pinterest and taped and placed around our home back in September. They have been so good to have around our home and be constantly reminded of TRUTH. It is amazing to me how they have been just what I need to be reminded of daily over the past couple weeks.
As I was reading recently, I read this part of a Puritan prayer from The Valley of Vision:
"When I am afraid of evils to come, comfort me by showing me
that in myself I am a dying, condemned wretch, but in Christ I am reconciled and live;
that in myself I find insufficiency and no rest, but in Christ there is satisfaction and peace;
that in myself I am feeble and unable to do good, but in Christ I have ability to do all things."
Oh how thankful I am that in my insufficiency, Christ is my strength. I pray that only in Christ would I find my satisfaction and peace! Would you pray with me for this? That when I am tempted to think about "what-ifs" or worry about things beyond my control that I would go straight to the throne of grace.
6 comments:
praying for continual healing in all areas! Thanks for being honest and real...thinking of you over here in SK :)
Thanks for posting this Christy. It lets me know how to better pray for you. You guys went through such a tragedy. I just hate you had to experience this. I love that you turn to God's word for comfort and truth. Love you and I am praying for you regularly. May the peace of God that passes all understanding guard your heart and mind.<3
Sweet friend, I love seeing you process and how He's teaching you in this hard time. Thanks for sharing. Praying. Love you!
Praise God for His word that truly comforts and instructs our heart and soul! I'm always amazed at how powerful and applicable it is when I really need it/believe it (though we know it always is!). Will continue praying for you and your family.
Christy, I know we haven't met officially (I just met you on Skype :), but I'm Lauren and Heather's good friend back at Crosspoint. I read this post (linked from Lauren's blog) and prayed for you right away! I'm sure it's really hard to rest in the Lord and trust in him when you've experienced first hand how bad things can be.
I've been really struggling with anxiety and worry the past month or so related to a couple of hard things that have happened. I'm always fighting against imagining the what ifs and imagining the worst possible scenario instead of trusting the Lord. I'm learning to remember that he is sufficient for me no matter what happens, and realizing that he hasn't called me to fear the future, but instead to rest in his sovereignty. Two great verses that I have clung to are below. I will remember you in my prayers! Keep fighting, the truth vs. lies that we speak to ourselves make such a difference in the way we respond emotionally. I'm learning slowly how to fight this.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever right, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:4-9
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor. 4:16-18
Love you sweet friend! So sad that you all had to go through this. I am such a worrier too - one of my biggest struggles! I will definitely be praying for you. I know how hard it can be!
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